This is the 48th post since the day my blog is created.

It is little but recently I have been pen-ing my thoughts and my feelings down often.

Things happen and affected me the most during the past 2 months.
This have been kinda like the worst for me and I am kinda living in a world of my own.
Don't know how to describe this feeling but yeah it is.

Just really wish and hope.......
Though I know it may not come true anymore.

Alright.
Goodbye and goodnight!

Brokeness. Hurts. Expressions. Emotions.


Song on repeat

Staring out the window she sees glimpses of last night
And everyone is silent but speaking through their eyes
Walking to the bus stop where the court of judges wait
To sentence her to live her life
Like she should always be ashamed
Been around so many times it wears out what you are
Accepting sarcasm and false sincerity
As words that people mean

Rejection redefined by giving up just what they're after
Someone would tell you
If they could speak above all this laughter
Think you could learn somehow the time just isn't now

Got a reputation now and no one's holding back
Wearing scars on your sleeve, so exposed to their attack
All her friends have pulled the plug on respect and reserve
Behind her back they prey on weakness
It's not what you deserve
Shot down, humiliated, pummeled by their words
Devoted you lay down with misplaced loyalty
Its misery you seek

No longer called by name when everybody's got your number
When dignity is gone
That's when depression drags you under
To depths you didn't know beneath and under
No longer called by name when everybody's got your number
When dignity is gone
That's when depression drags you under
To depths you didn't know beneath the undertow


You will no longer be called by name and dignity is gone.
Depression comes in.

Alright bye!

Alright, it is quite long that I last blog I think?

Things are just not right now or I can say, not going my way but I will make sure it will.

Talking about yesterday, I was out with a group of my friends to just hangout and chill.
Met my "mum" after that and had botak jones together.
It had been long since we last catch up and "mum" says that it was like when I had my braces on.
Indeed it is really really long.

Saw quite a number of familiar friends while walking.

Went out together.
Fun but not so fun.
Enough about today.

Tomorrow is father's day and happy father's day to all fathers.

Happy father's day to my beloved grandfather.
I miss you.

Goodnight, goodbye!

This is written on thursday morning at 6.30am and now I am posting this up.

Have not been sleeping enough for the past 4 days and it is very very very draining.

Rituals were done and everything went smoothly.

Just had a heavy downpour and things went hectic.We were all trying to clear the things that are caught in the rain and we managed to.One thing that we had trouble with is the canvas above us and that the rain water is flooding the whole canvas and it is like falling onto us.The canvas was not properly set up because there is not enough space to tie it and it results in the collection of water.5 of us tried to push the canvas up so that the water will be able to flow downwards onto the ground but it was pouring heavily and the weight was unbearable.In the end, we poke holes through the canvas so that the water will be able to escape.

That was for the past few days.

On the day of the cremation itself, we had to walk out from the place of the funeral out to the main road and resulting in a jam of the traffic flow.
The floor was wet but we had just our socks on and started walking out to the main road.
The socks was very very wet but no one bothers about it though it was disgusting.

We walked for quite a distance and my uncle's friend's gang members were the undertakers carrying my grandfather's coffin and I was walking together on the right of my dad and my uncle was on his left.
As the eldest grandson, I am somehow acting like a "son" in the family so can say that I am rather "big" in the family.

Proceeded down to mandai and to the crematorium and of course, everyone was very sad that my grandfather had to depart from this world and tears came rolling down.

Went back home after that and than I slept from 4pm till the next morning 8am. Tired, tired and tired!

As for the daybefore, went down to mandai to collect my grandfather's ashes and place it in the urn and into the tablet.
Everything went smoothly and it was something that we must rejoice because my grandfather had lived up to a ripe old age and go off peacefully.
After that, my relatives and my family had tim sum and went off to my grandmother's place to play mahjong with my cousins.

And for yesterday, it was jiayang's last day before he went into the army so we went to accompany him at cathy to catch a movie and than I headed back to my grandmother's place at about 2am.
Slept in and went to mandai again this morning.
Doing the rituals and all and proceeded home.
Slept in and just woke up.

Anyway, school really sucks.
No holidays at all and have to go back to school from 8am-5pm daily.

Alright, this is all.
Goodbye everyone!



Cherish your loved ones before it is too late.
I know I do miss you.

Right now is 6.30am and I am still awake.

Alright.

Here I am blogging at 6.20am on a thursday morning.
Did not sleep at all yet since from 11am till now.
Waiting right now for my shift to sleep.
My eye bags are very very heavy and I am sure I am looking very ugly now but nothing beats the determination that keeps my cousin and I staying up awake.

Played a few games of dota, psp games, face-booking and just staring at my computer screen allows the time to pass.
Chasing the cat away can be also a fun thing to do at 5am in the morning.

I will be doing this for another 2 more nights or so and I am sure my bio clock will be tuned to the night.
Keeping myself awake at night is really not easy but I got to do it.
Alright, I am really quite tired and hungry now.

Got to go.
bye!

Tears came rolling down my cheeks.
Goodbye to you my beloved grandfather.
I will miss you very very much. :(

My grandfather just passed away last night at 3am while I was still awake and we received a call at my house phone but no one picked it up.
I am feeling sad that I am not able to see my grandfather for the last time.
It is really heartwrecking to lose a love one.
Do really cherish your love ones that you have.
Take care!

Studying right now at the funeral.
Got to go.
Bye!


Always in my heart

IT IS HURTING!

Walking is kinda slightly difficult much less say driving a car with the clutch.

Exams are coming real soon or should I say that it have already begun.
Just really wish that I can do well for my exams this time round.

I am really tired after a whole day of school and the night without much sleep.
I am kinda dying soon.
Anywhere where I can shut my eyes for a moment, I will do so and fall asleep.

Alright, this is all for today!
Goodnight!
Goodbye!